Friday, January 14, 2011

a busy week

My poor boy was exhausted. He and I took two trips to pentwater together this week and then he went to the Detroit zoo on Friday with his grandma while Jeff and I went to Pentwater. He was talking all about the zebra's and then conked out.

 It was so good to get away and be with just Jeff. Don't get me wrong, I missed Kaden terribly, but it was nice to do things that are difficule to do with a two year old. Just simple things. We wandered around camp,  played in the warm waves on the beach and later we laid on the beach and watched for shooting stars to wish on while listening to the water lap on the shore next to us.

      Earlier in the week my dad played his trumpet and Kaden was enthralled. He watched my dad play for a few minutes with his hands on his cheeks and his eyes wide. Pops tried to teach Kaden to blow through it.

And then he played and showed Kaden how to press the keys.

It was an awesome and busy week. One that crept by slowly, allowing me to enjoy every moment. One that kept allowing me to look forward to the next thing without wishing other parts to go faster.

On another note...

My Morning Glory's are looking beautiful. I don't have much of a green thumb so I'm always impressed when something I plant actually grows. You could have knocked me over when my rose bush actually bloomed one perfect white rose.
And lastly...


               All 'tude. Wonder where he gets that from???

First Post Ever.

Kaden and I went camping with my parents in Pentwater. Usually we go for a week but Kaden and I went up for two days and one night.  It was amazing for both of us. We got to spend alot of time together with no time restraints and nothing on the agenda besides making our way to the beach. We started out our day by going  to a restaurant in Hart called the Pink Elephant for breakfast.  Kaden loves the show Babar and thought that Babar was there. They were super busy and it took a long time to order and to get our breakfast. They were generous with the coffee, however, and I was vibrating in my seat while I colored with Kaden. We sat on stools at the bar and I was worried about Kaden falling off but he did very good, I believe he felt like a 'big kid'. On our way back, driving through the middle of nowhere (seriously, this town is small!) I was surprised to see a plane parked on the side of the road. Kaden LOVES airplanes and helicopters and was excitedly shouting from the back seat. I pulled over and we walked over to the airplane. It was from WWII and on display as a memmorial. It was pretty hot out and the wings kept creaking and really creeped my out. I took some quick pictures while Kaden looked around and then we got out of there. We then went over to the beach and spent a lovely afternoon there. Karin took a bunch of pictures so I'll hopefully be able to post some soon. Kaden and I are going back tomorrow just for the day. I probably wont be able to post tomorrow, but I'll try for Thursday!!

Tour guide

We have so much snow and I love it! ...except for driving. I do not like sledding while driving. But walking in the snow? Love it. I love the crunching sound the snow makes when you're walking and I love how blue the sky looks with a blanket of crisp white snow beneath it. Someone I know committed suicide yesterday and he is a snowboarder and I kept thinking what a perfect day today would have been, if he could have just held on one more day he might've found there was just enough beauty in the world to keep living for. I know it's not that simple and it's actually a little crazy how much my own perspective has changed since I've had kaden. The world is brand new to me. I know you've heard the cliche about how having kids makes you see things from a child like perspective and so the world is sparkly and new again. And that's true, but it's more than that. I spent several years shutting things out and numbing myself to the world around me. When I found out I was pregnant it was scary because I couldn't do that anymore. I couldn't even take my anti depressant. After I had kaden I still had those feelings ( I could write an entire post about post partum depression) and hoped that God would take away my need to dull my senses and, slowly, he did. Now it's pretty rare that I even have a drink and when I do, I usually get a pretty immediate headache. Sometimes, especially if I'm with my girlfriends I'll drink more than I really want to, to try to 'power through' but I always regret it in the morning. Even more importantly, I haven't been on my lexapro since directly after I had kaden and, as I alluded to previously, had some depression but I went off of it inside a week. There have been some especially dreary days this winter when I felt I could have used it but over all, I feel pretty great most of the time. Living without my 'crutches' and having a child I've been forced to actually be a participant in the world. I've been in the moment which can seem achingly bright and so very real, like I'm coming out of the darkness after hibernating, which, I guess I was. Somewhere inside myself I hear, "yes. Welcome. You're here, on earth. There's the sun, the sky..."(this voice sounds remarkably like Charlie from it's always sunny...) And so I take hold of my son's hand and we discover everything beautiful and everything real together.

(I can't edit this at the moment so sorry if it's redundant or has spelling errors.)